When love goes wrong

There has been a spate of spousal and significant-other abuse cases in New York City. They have been shockingly brutal. Recently, within the span of two days, a man shot and killed his girlfriend and then himself. The next day another strangled his girlfriend and then hung himself, both to be found by their three year old child who was able to summon his aunt who lived next door by telling her his parents were dead. With the frequency of these abuse cases comes much concern from those of us reading these stories. I believe these horrific cases come about because many are having financial difficulties because of the economically uncertain times we live in, and when this is added to the regular every day problems of sustaining a relationship, lovers cannot cope, and often take it out on the one closest to them.

I wonder how things can go so wrong in a relationship. Every relationship, be they personal, romantic, or strictly business, has hard times. These times are usually comprised of problems that may seem insurmountable. But problems can be alleviated and seem less burdensome when one has the love of another enveloping their existence. Romantic relationships are the ones that keep you ensconced in a blanket of love and able to weather the daily barrage of every day problems all people of all persuasion incur because you know you have someone who cares about you to come home to. So why would a person turn on someone they purportedly love? Was there ever, really, any love there, and if there was, why could they not work it out and form a united front to solve the problem or maintain their relationship while dealing with a sustaining problem? What could possibly lead someone to such despair that they hurt someone they have laid down with, shared a life with, shared time, emotions, love?

There seems to be an ever increasing problem among a population of people who profess to love each other. The problem amongst partners is domestic abuse, and it is rippling throughout so many communities - rich, poor, young, old, gay and straight. It has happened in mind numbing regularity. And it is taking its toll on a generation of the offspring that have been born from these once calm but now hateful unions. Many of the children have witnessed the abuse of their beloved parents, and one can only hope they, when they are adults, will not continue the trends of partner abuse, though history evidences children of abuse often do. Children are often the secondary victim's of spousal abuse, and the most indefensible.

One can only hope the reports of such abuses that seemingly are occurring with more regularity diminish, if not cease, to exist. And whatever the reason for its existence, be it monetary stress, or the arrogance of the aggressor, it is something that is hurting society as a whole.