What would you do?
Me and a group of friends were asked the question, "What would you do on the day you woke up and were at your best?" What would our lives encompass? Where would we find ourselves if we were at our best? I didn't verbalize my thoughts as many answered with long responses that told of their hopes of having better jobs/careers and of having made better choices in their lives that would have put them at a better place than they found themselves currently. All said, essentially, that they were not at their best and mapped a road that would lead them to their best. The question itself implied that the person asking didn't think they were at their best, not in an accusatory way, but a doubtful way, none the less. I didn't want to seem arrogant, so I did not respond to the question outwardly, but did so internally. My answer is that I am living my best every day that I awake.
I am sometimes frustrated, sometimes regretful, especially when I am feeling sorry for myself, but when I come out of the self-pitying party that I sometimes throw for myself, I realize I am blessed. When I awake, I am at my best because my children are surrounding me, my house is in order, I diligently pursue all that interests me like hobbies, travels, etc., my relationships are sturdy and stable, and I am happy. For me it is not the money I make nor the career that provides that desired money. It is the stability of my personal relationships with my children and my other significant members of my direct and extended family that make up the foundation of what makes me an accomplished person and makes me the best I can be. With the stability of these relationships, knowing I can go home and hear the giggling of my children, it is that which allows me to hurdle the seeming obstacles of life: jobs, careers, educational pursuits, etc., and be at my best while doing so.
I am currently at my best.
20 Comments:
I did a post recently on workshops.
The question you were asked was called "the miracle question" in the workshop I attended.
It is intended to motivate.
I'm going to use the "miracle question" at my next staff meeting.
Only it was phrased as:
"If you got up this morning and everything was perfect at your job, how would it be?"
It is most certainly a motivating question.
It was also the only positive thing I got from that workshop.
Radmila, I hear you about workshops, and how sometimes you only get a small amount of positive elements from them.
The question, as you posed it is very motivating, and is often answered at my job often by various people. However, management never seems to hear us peons. So, the question is very motivating, but once one has answered it, who will hear it and take heed. That is the frustrating part. You know what needs to be done but can't implement those measures because "you - the worker bee" does not have the power to see these measures take place.
Thanks for commenting.
The problem with management actually acting on suggestions from staff members is that no matter what management decides to use from those suggestions, there will always be those that are unhappy about what was decided.
I have a staff of 14, and asking for opinion, contributing ideas, having an 'open door' policy, caring about what your employees think, and trying to motivate them to do their jobs with dedication instead of just 'pulling a paycheque' is a tall order indeed.
Often in my environment people make suggestions that serve their own agendas, without considering their co-workers or the organization they work for. Some have the attitude of "the client is lucky I put up with their crap" rather than, "it's your job to think up solutions and provide the client with the service we are paid to provide". Often my staff feel that because our clients don't pay us directly(we're a social service with families who are subsidized by the government in different programs), that they don't deserve the same level of respect or tolerance that other clients get.
TLC, in my experience, often even those who bother to make suggestions about ways to improve the work environment, and their own suggestions are implemented, will often complain about the results. People rarely have the foresight required to make themselves happy.
Besides the backstabbing feature that exists in all work environments.
These are just a few of the problems with a staff of 14 people! I can understand why a large company would base their decisions soley on what is 'best for the company' rather than 'what is best for the employee' since they can't win anyway.
A good example of this: a few years ago the board of education here decided that in order to save 2500 jobs, all employees would be required to take a certain number of unpaid days per year (their choice of when and how). Everyone bitched and moaned and complained.
A few years later, a new administration came in and heeded their complaints and stopped the unpaid days...but by that time the deficit was larger and 2700 people lost their jobs instead of the original 2500.
The same people complained again about how they missed their extra days, and how terrible the new administration was to lay off those employees.
Everyone wants it both ways, and it can't be that way.
It's a losing battle trying to please people.
(end rant)
ditto to the entry
and
we are all perfect
this is all perfect
every challenge
every moving breath in and out is pefect
change is the only constant
"ACCEPT WHATEVER ARISES IN THIS MOMENT AS IF YOU HAD CHOSEN IT, AND YOUR WHOLE LIFE WILL BE MIRACULOUSLY TRANSFORMED"
grace with ease,
Thomai
"we are all perfect"
What planet are you from exactly? Everything is flawed. Perfection is an unattainable myth.
Chris
Wow! You guys are so great for commenting, AND providing so much thought provoking views. Radmila, I know you are so correct about everyone not being pleased even when their ideas are implemented. That would have been the second part of my comment post if I'd continued. And please, rant away as I love your insight. Chris and Thomai, you have such opposing views, and they are welcomed. I lean towards Thomai's in the acceptance of all that comes your way and working with it.
Thanks for commenting.
Thanks TLC,
On Chris' comment, I would have to agree with him.
We ARE all flawed, perfection IS a myth.
Those of us struggling for perfection are outnumbered and outpowered by the mean and petty spirited.
I fight not being a shitty person every day. I really do. Because some people are sooooooo horrible that it takes effort not to pay them back in some way when given the opportunity.
Do I laugh when mean spirited person gets their comeupance? I most certainly do (and that is wrong, I'm told)....but if you haven't noticed, cheaters DO prosper.
I know a person who is just so.
She has feigned illness and received undeserved consideration and benefits from pretending. She has borrowed money and not paid it back. She has conned people in such a way that you cannot even accuse her of conning because you cannot literally prove that she is not ill.
In my opinion she is a grifter, a con...yet, she lives better than I do.
It's hard not to be pissed about someone so grossly dishonest living better than people who are trying to be decent.
Yes, we are all flawed.
I am a realist and cannot live in a pretend world of "all people are inherently good", when my experience shows that this is not true.
All we can say is that many of us are trying to be good.
"I lean towards Thomai's in the acceptance of all that comes your way and working with it."
First of all I always enjoy reading your blog because you always have such interesting insight into everything you post about. I disagree only with Thomai's assertion that we are all perfect but not about acceptance of all that comes your way. The problem with perfection is that it is a state of mind. What I consider to be perfect may not be perfect to somebody else but perhaps even viewed to be overwhelmingly flawed. The idea of human perfection is an intangible to our limited intellect but still used as a benchmark as we constantly grasp for it but seldom attain it. Just about anything we have done has been marred by errors, whether they rooted in the fabric of society(a human creation) or an individual(Who among us does not make mistakes).
Now, the other part is about how things have a tendency to come up where you have to work with it. I agree that most of the time we have little choice in what happens in a situation be it a family member who is sick or something less severe. I don't know if I agree with the term accept it though. Perhaps work around it or through it would be better. Just my 2 cents.
Oh, in case there was any doubt, the last comment was me. I forgot to add my name on the end. By the way, blogger is far from perfect not letting a non blogspot user to sign their name on comments like other comment software allows such as haloscan. See, imperfections are everywhere :)
Chris
Radmila, the "grifter" you work with sounds like a complete drag, and I do agree with you that these are the types that seem to get ahead, but ultimately I think they get what's due to them. I've seen it happen. Chris, love your comments and agree with you and Radmila that perfection is a benchmark to which we must work hard to attain. I remember when I was a child and how innocent and giving I was, believing much of what I was taught in Catholic School and being happy with being a good person. And then I had interactions with unspeakably horrible people who I assessed as not having an iota og goodness, but whom I have always believed started out as innocent and kind and good, not perfect. And then somehow they became a part of the evilness that lurks in society at large. We see that kind of nastiness every day of our lives, and some of us imbibe it and make it our own, some of us reject it and learn to be the opposite of what we have witnessed. It is a CHOICE
I got cut off, somehow.
My last sentence would be:
We all have a choice to be good. And we can try to be perfect, which I believe is unattainable, but well worth the effort. Certainly, in that pursuit of perfection, we are being good people. We can try to be the best that we can be.
Yes TLC, we try.
I'd like to believe that those who are a-holes get what's coming to them.
I'm reminded of my mother in law whenever I relay our some of the troubles I'm dealing with, she always says:
"Girl look, God must love you very much for the Devil to be chasing you so!"
I love that woman.
Radmila, you have a very wise mother-in-law.
Yes, we try. (sigh) That's all we can do.
Thanks for commenting.
Very very interesting question...
Thomai, you're words are beautiful as are their meaning. I believe in them, truly. And I try to live them. I "get" what you are saying and believe what you are saying, as hard as that is. I remember an elder saying to me, "God doesn't make mistakes" "We are made in his image" She was saying we are perfect. I totally "get" it.
Thank you for your comment.
But god makes mistakes all the time. How else do you explain the platypus.
Thomai,
You speak another language.
Yeah, Radmila is right. I was going to respond to Thomai's comment but I am not exactly sure what she is saying. Maybe you can find beauty in obfuscated sentences TLC but they just make my head hurt.
Chris
Oy! All this talk about being perfect is killin' me (a perfectionist--and I do mean that in a neurotic way).
I think that being at your best is to be happy. And I heard someone define happiness as when what you say, what you do, what you think/believe, and what you feel all come together on one accord-- and hopefully it all lasts a lifetime.
Sandra
Chris, Sandra, Radmila, Thomai, The Brotha Code, The Black New Yorker, Anonymous, thank you for commenting.
This is a great discourse on being "your best".
We all struggle with it.
Post a Comment
<< Home