Reciprocation

I went to purchase something in a store and walked up to the counter and said,"Hello," to the woman behind it. She gave me a disgusted look. I placed my items on the counter, and she snatched them to the scanner area, placed them in a bag, and barked out the price of my purchase. I've said hello to tellers in banks and they've scowled at me, finished the transactions, and not said a word to me, the hello never returned. I've said hello to persons walking the floors of departments stores, who clearly were employees as their cheery name tags designate them as such, look at me with contention. When I follow the hello with a question of what aisle I can find a particular item, some have a look of guilt, knowing they've been rude. And I am left wondering why did they think I was saying hello but to greet them with the respect they deserved as someone who will be servicing me. Was I supposed to just bark out a request. "Where is the flatware department?" or just slam down the items I wished to purchase on a counter. Perhaps they thought I was going to ask for a handout, a favor. Certainly none thought the hello was appropriate for me to say as they did not reply in return. Often none said anything, and returned the greeting with a look of trepidation.

I've always noticed how rude the general public can be to the people that service them. I've had jobs that has placed me in direct contact with the public and have been on the receiving end of their rudeness. I never connected that experience with what I should and have always done when approaching someone who will service me. Perhaps those service people who are rude to their customers were once treated rudely when they were customers, and now do the same to those they are paid to service? My experience as a service worker reinforced how and why I treat those who service me with respect. What surprises me is the reaction I get from service workers when that respect is given to them. When I was on vacation, the head waiter came over to the table where I was dining with my tour guide and asked him to translate his Italian to me to express his staff's appreciation of how I treated them. I was amazed as I did nothing spectacular. I greeted them when they first came to my table, said thank you and please, and I always looked them in the eye. Upon recollection, I did notice that many of the other diners and members of my tour completely ignored them when the servers served their food. In Italy, where I vacationed, the meals in restaurants are never brought out on a plate, but rather each course doled on a plate, by a server, at the table, while the diner sits. The closeness of the servers to the diners when leaning over to dish out food created an atmosphere that necessitated camaraderie between both, but often the server was ignored. When someone is that close to me, I make eye contact, not purposefully, but simply because they are in my face. And they are servicing me and deserve that respect.

I treat people as I would want to be treated, and do so in any situation that I find them. I want to be acknowledge when I am in a room filled with people and I would imagine that persons who service others want that acknowledgement. Drinks are not just magically served in a glass. Re-fills of those glasses do not magically happen. The hands that pour the re-fills are attached to a person who has dreams and aspirations just as I do. I hold this sentiment true for those who service me. In turn, I wish for them to treat me respectfully, however I am often confronted with rude service people, especially those that work in NY. I often ponder if a rude reaction to friendliness is a preconceived notion on the part of a service worker to protect themselves. They have often been treated rudely, so any acts of kindness cannot be computed as such because of its rarity in occurrence. Perhaps, in the interactions between service workers and customers, the point is to be voiceless, and do the job as if you are invisible. For those customers who act out of the norm, and treat service people as the entities and humans that they are, perhaps it is too unsettling to deal with the reverence given, and a rude reaction results. For those service people who act appropriately during the dispensing of service and thank customers for treating them respectfully in return seem to do so not only because of appreciation but because of surprise. I just wish that people would not react to appropriate actions in such an surprised fashion, or worse, in a rude fashion. Appropriateness should be common place, however, in the world we live in today, often it is not.