Dichotomy

I awaken on Monday morning, and think to myself, "Another week of the job.  Gee, I can't wait 'til vacation." And then I put my game face on, preparing for the day to come.  I have many hours to prepare as I work at night, so the process is purposefully slow.  I mingle with the children as we scurry through the neighborhood buying groceries, going to the park, and coming home to wait for the arrival of their Father.  And then it's on.  I must prepare for work.

I must remember to change my tone of voice as during today, and all other days, I have had occasion to scream at my children so that they will get in line and act right.  So I must change the tonality of my voice to fit in with the corporate structure I am about to encounter.  I have often been told that I am quiet at work and it is assumed from this that I must be a quiet person.  Should my family ever have someone state to them that I am thought of as a quiet person on my job they will laugh and ask again for the name of the person described as quiet and reply that though the name may match the matriarch of their family, the description of her is the opposite of what she is at home.

I must also remember during my preparation for work that I must quicken my step.  During my leisurely pursuits through my Bronx neighborhood with my children my pace is quite slow as I am not hurried.  Upon leaving the train station in The Wall street area where my job is located, should I not quicken my step to break-neck speed upon exiting the train I will surely be trampled as all who are there move lightening quick.   I must also prepare to be more than cordial with all of those that I encounter as I must pose the obligatory question of how everyone's' weekend was and answer the returned obligatory question of how was my weekend with a jovial response.  Many whom I work with are persons that I would not think of being friends with outside of work.   However, while I am in the work place I must act cordially.

My life at home and my life at work are dichotomous.  One must make a living and be a productive part of society.  And one must make a life outside of the job that is true to the person.  That life outside the job is the most important aspect of a person.  A person's private life is paramount to all else.  I am a woman who loves family and that is evidenced in my private life.  The job that I have provides for me and my family and our lifestyle.  It is a subdivision of my life, but does not subjugate me.  The job is a part of my life, but does not define me.  What defines me is my private life.  My changing while getting ready to go to work allows me to deal with the many things and people I will encounter during my pursuit of a livelihood.   It is about being an adult and getting my game face on.  Being an adult sometimes requires acting and doing so helps me to deal with all aspects of my job.   However, I do look forward to taking a break from my acting and going on vacation.   And when returned from a rejuvenating vacation, I am ready for my next performance.