Screamed On

On Friday, I had an appointment with an optometrist and was the first patient to arrive. When entering the office I encountered the optometrist who greeted me and said when his administrative staff arrived they would do my paperwork so that I may be seen by him, but until that time I should sit and wait as he was the first to arrive to the office. I did so gladly. After a few minutes another patient arrived. She sat and waited without comment to me. The doctor was no where to be found. The first administrative person for the doctor's office arrived shortly and proceeded to go behind the front desk. He looked me in the eye. The other patient went up to him, and started to tell him the reason for her being there, and they went into a discussion. After listening for 10 seconds, I asked all in the room if I were invisible, and the administrative assistant looked at me as I continued with telling him that the patient who was speaking to him was rude as she knew I was there before her, and he was equally if not more rude, to have not greeted us both, and then asked who was to be seen first. He apologized quickly, the rude woman did not, but stepped out of my way, and I proceeded to the front desk and had my paperwork done, and was seen by the optometrist. I reflected on the event as one that was abnormal and consisting of rude people.

I then got ready for my second shift job and arrived ready to work with a good attitude. By 11:20 PM I was being screamed at by a custodian in front of my staff. The incident was very upsetting.

My job is in The Wall Street area on NYC and it is open from 8:00 AM until 12:00 PM during the weekdays. My department's floors, the ones that aren't carpeted, were to be stripped and waxed, unbeknownst to those of us who work at night, during the night shift. There seemed to be no procedure for doing the floors as access to our lunch room and bathrooms was not allowed. Those of us who overlooked the staff were not informed that this process would happen and in addition, that access to the bathroom and lunch room would be denied for 4 hours. Management, I among them, tried to calm the staff who complained of being treat like sweat shop workers just a quarter mile away from the Statue of Liberty and the irony of such during this situation. We managed to calm them down, and talked to the custodial staff who we told had to have the floors back to a place that would allow our staff to walk upon without someone slipping between the times of 11:00 and 11:30 PM as we needed to have staff clock-out and use the facilities and then have them leave the building. We were greeted with a negative attitude from the custodial staff, but they were told they had no choice as it was unacceptable that we were not told before hand that things such as water and bathroom facilities would not be available for 4 hours, and that as such, they had to make these things available for a least some minutes as we were human beings deserving of respect. They grudgingly obliged verbally. Many of us in management felt we were allowing the custodial staff more latitude than they deserved, I among them, as they had not followed any procedures when buffing the floors that would have allowed a measure of dignity for the workers in them having, at least, minimal access to bathrooms and libation. But all in management tried to make the best of a terrible situation by not being argumentative with the custodial staff in front of the subordinates that we supervise.

11:00 PM arrived and many ran to the bathroom and lunch room for the much needed breaks. I, at 11:20 also took the opportunity to use the facilities and encountered a wet floor that had a gloss like substance on it. I gingerly took two steps on my heels and entered the bathroom. When I came out a custodian was standing in the only doorway by which I could use to get back to my desk, and he was screaming at the top of his lungs, "What did I say!!!! What did I say!!!" while clapping his hands on every syllable. I could not believe I was being spoken to in such a disrespectful manner. I blinked with rage while I stood in the doorway of the bathroom and was thinking to myself how I was going to get away from this guy who was standing in the only exit. A co-worker pushed him out of the way and stood in front of him and beckoned me to take her hand while I navigated the two steps across the slippery hallway. While we were doing that, the custodian continued to scream, while she and I passed him through the narrow doorway, in our ears, and he was joined by others in the custodian staff in screaming admonishments to me for stepping on a floor that we were told would be dry. I was internally counting to ten as I thought I would explode with rage at being addressed that way. I needed to get away from the initiator of the verbal attack as I thought I would attack him with my fists. By that time the two others of the management staff arrived and were verbalizing their amazement at the custodians' disregard for etiquette when dealing with people. The initiator and another custodian responded to the managers' statement with the question of who was in charge. They wanted to know who was the senior manager on the floor, to which everyone pointed to me. I then saw the fear in the custodians' eyes. It was an "Uh Oh" moment. I unleashed, in my most Kings English verbiage, that should I not receive an apology in the next 60 seconds I would be in their boss' office bright an early on Monday, and give him or her an earful as to the mistreatment I and my staff had received, in particular me, as I was screamed at for daring to use a bathroom that I had been denied access to for 4 hours. I got my apology several times. Certainly it was not heartfelt, but rather, given, out of fear.

Many times when I encounter people who think it is OK to be rude and disrespectful to me, it is a person that does not see me. I am invisible to them and as such can be treated disrespectful. I am invisible in that I am a person who, in their mind, cannot bring forth repercussions for their rudeness. If I am screamed at or ignored I will not do anything that will bring about any consequences. I am thought of as a powerless. I am a woman. I am African-American. And I am therefore thought of as powerless. I am not thought of as a person deserving of respect. I am not thought of as an African-American woman who should be respected because I am a human being. I, when subjected to episodes like the two I had on Friday, was reminded of the imbecilic thought process of some that I encounter in my everyday life. I try to fight this inconceivable notion that I am invisible, and it is always hard. Usually, when I speak to them and sprout the words that tell them I will not tolerate disrespect or they find out that I am in a management position on my job, they acquiesce and become respectful, but not because they see the error of their ways, but because they are fearful of the consequences I may bring to them.

It is not comforting that I get respect after such incidents because of fear, as the most desirable respect would come about because the person noted the error of their ways, re-focused, and began to act appropriately. But I will take the respect however I get it. I just hope the next time all concerned will deal with the next person respectfully because they are deserving of such. The respect will come forth because they are a person who rightfully derserves it. I am forever hopeful.