Foundation of Contentment

I take vacation once a year. I always try to go by myself to a far away place, enjoy the sights, and think of myself as an adventurer, so that I may come back to my world rejuvenated. I save all year and sometimes do so by cutting corners with the family finances. I, when my children were younger, would often give all that I had to my family. If something was needed for my children that might break the family budget, I would juggle with it, cut corners, and get whatever it was I thought they needed via my not getting things that I needed. Retrospectively often what I thought was direly needed for my children was not that important. But in order to do what I thought was the right thing, to sacrifice to get them whatever it was I thought they needed, I would sometimes skip getting my hair done, not buy shoes or clothes, etc. I did these things thinking that's what a mother does for her family. I was proud of it, but had lingering doubts about my actions. I thought that struggling was a distinction particular to mothers. I thought mothers do all that they can for their families to the detriment of themselves, but when I sacrificed that way for my family, I was uncomfortable with the dissatisfied feeling I was often left with inside.

When will the sacrificing end? When will the bills that require sacrifices cease to be insurmountable? Bills never stop coming, and sacrifices will always be a way of life for those with responsibilities. But how does one do these things, pay the bills and fulfill responsibilities, without feeling drained and subjugated? I realized that I must put myself first. I must take care of my needs, and not feel guilty about doing so, so that I may be satisfied with my lot in life, and then, from that foundation of satisfaction, diligently take care of my family and do so with sacrifices, if necessary. It was a hard life lesson to learn as I was always given the message through media and family members that having a family meant forfeiting many things that you normally buy and do for yourself for the good of your family. There was never a qualifier for that message of sacrifice. The message was never tempered with the caveat that one has to work this life from a foundation of happiness. If a caretaker is not happy with their life, how is it possible for them to do the things that make others close to them happy?

Trips on airplanes strengthens my resolve to look out for my happiness first and foremost. When taking my first airplane ride many years ago, I was impressed by the strategies of survival given to me and the other passengers on the plane by the stewardess on what one must do if the plane should decompress, particularly the strategy given to people traveling with children. If a person is with a child, they are instructed to place the oxygen mask that drops before them over their mouths securely, first, and then place the oxygen mask of the child they are with over that child's mouth, secondly. I have applied this strategy to my life fully. From this strategy I am resolved to be supportive of my interests so that I can be supportive to my family members and their interests. I am determined to pursue those interests that make me happy so that I will feel rewarded which will then allow me to be comfortable in seeking and supporting rewarding pursuits for my family members. One cannot give support to others if one cannot support themselves. If one cannot help themselves how can one help someone else? Can one make others happy if one is not happy?

So when I go on my next vacation, and I hear the instructions on the plane for caretakers to take care of themselves first so that they can then take care of their children, I will smile as I have applied this strategy of surviving the decompression of a plane as a strategy to survive life. Because I have adhered to this strategy of making sure I am happy, I will be going on vacation that I have whittled from my tight family budget, and I hope that I will return from my vacation content. I try to always remember to value my happiness with the hopes that in doing so I will be able to do the best for those closest to me because I am content. If I love myself, I can love others. If I am happy with my life, I will try to do things for those close to me that will make them happy. I can make sacrifices for my family because I will do so from a foundation of contentment. And because I am content, I will be at my best to try to do all the things that are good for my family. I will make sacrifices for them without resentment because I have made certain that I am happy and at peace with myself.