Bragging

Why is it that some think if you don't speak of all the things you do or have done in your life on a daily basis that you are not doing or have done anything?

I have a work environment that consists of people bragging of their plans of vacations and other extravagant purchases, children's accomplishments, expensive hobbies, and famous people that they are acquainted with. My co-workers also tell of everything they've done from the time they were born until the time they arrived at the job were they've met me, and of course, on that day of introduction started the bragging as to what they had done that day and bragged of what they planned to do in the future.

I am very private about my life as I don't think persons who are not family would be interested in my past, present, or future exploits. In fact, I know my family is not interested in my past, present or future exploits, but must listen to me wax on as we live in the same house and to escape my dialouges they have to leave the house. It gets cold outside, so they stay and listen. I know that they are incredibly bored when I talk about my future, past or present exploits because they tell me. Often. If a see a picture of Paris and I tell of how exciting it was when I was there, I often get a, "We know. We've heard the story 50 million times. Gosh." I get that they are bored with my stories, but their family and they simply have to put up with my repeated stories.

I would never torture a co-worker with such stories as I don't want to appear to be uncouth. If asked do I do a certain thing, such as travel, play a sport, partake in buying something expensive, etc. I then may talk of some of my expoits, but to mention such unsolicited is not appropriate. I know how I feel when someone comes up to me, and unsolicited, tells me of something that they have done. If it is a co-worker that I barely know I grin and bear it and am usually excited for them with the underlying question in my mind of, "Why did this person tell me about this and I don't usually talk to them, nor do they ask about me about what I do with my time?" It's situation like these when they arise make you ask those types of questions and when you answer them internally you come up with the solution: they are just braggining!

Those same people that brag conversely think that if you don't brag that yours is bigger than theirs you must not have or done anything. I once had someone give me a complete run down, unsolicited, of a European Trip. When I congratulated them on going, they then stated that when I finally got to Europe I would like it. I blinked for a moment as I was amazed that this person assumed that I had never been to Europe. Why not ask have if a person has been to Europe, and the conversation would continue from there based on the answer. This guy completely jumped over that logical step of asking a pertinent question that is viable to the interest of the conversation and skipped to acceptance of the impossibility of travel for the person to whom he was speaking. Suffice to say, he made an ass out of himself and I told him so as I have traveled to Europe many times.

Again, because I am often not asked personal question on my job as everyone understands that I am quite private, does not mean that I do not have accomplishments. My not speaking of my life lends itself to appropriateness at work as I am there to work and not to congregate. What it only means is that I am not speaking of my accomplishments, and not that I don't have any. I am sure that part of the reason I do not discuss my accomplishments is that I try to be modest. What then often happens is my co-workers filling in whatever blanks they feel they cannot glean from my conversations. And the fill-ins are assumptions. For people to assume is strange, but for them to assume to the "negative" is an even greater strangeness. The assumption is based on the impossibility and not the possibility.

The bragging is done to bolster one's own self image. It is done because of the insecurity of the person uttering these sometimes embellished claims. Bragging is also done to subjugate the person who has to listened to these words of self-praise. That aspect of bragging replicates a child saying to another, "Look what I have and you don't."