Dilemmas

So often I am doubtful of what I am capable of. I am doubtful that I can reach my full potential, and that truly scares me. Often in my life I have been told I am nothing and that I will never be anything. I have doubts about myself because of these hateful statements. I have also been given subliminal messages that people are surprised at my abilities. An example of that is someone saying I'm so well spoken. To that I often state to them the question: What did you expect. When some find out the college I've attended, I get raised eyebrows, and questioned as to how I got in. Often I reply that I held a gun to the head of the admissions officer. I can't fathom how else they believed I got in other than taking an admittance test as all others do to get into a school. I mean, it is an idiotic question, but none the less a question that states that the one posing the question does not believe in your abilities.

I am planning a trip that covers the path that Hannibal The Conqueror, a Carthaginian, traveled in his exploits of war. In the planning of this trip I am realizing a dream I have had for quit some time. It, this trip, is a dream come true. It helps to reinforce all that I know about myself. It helps, this trip, to reinforce that I am a person who can pursue my dreams, and not the listen to the voices of others who think I am less than what I actually am.