In The Box

Recently I attended an event that required me to wait in a waiting area with several women. Upon entering he area as directed I went to a seat that was unoccupied and proceeded to take off my sweater and exhale knowing I had arrived on time and the event would soon start. I was happy to be there and to have done so without incident. Then came a woman who stood over me, in the proverbial box that I set up around myself to determine if someone is just too close, and proceeded to tell me I was in her seat. I, still doing the tasks of setting myself up to sit for a moment, stopped my movements and looked up at her in a slow manner, all the while looking at the vast amount of unoccupied seats all about us, and said to the woman slowly while looking in her eyes, for her to go find another seat and to do so because my sitting in "her" seat should not be a big deal. I further glanced around me to re-assert that there was no way for me or the best detective in the world to decipher if I was sitting in "her" chair as there were no items of clothing nor bags in its vicinity. I was amazed that she was "up on me" in such close poximity and surmised she must not be a native New Yorker as anyone who is would never have been that close without there not being a good reason such as a crowded subway or restaurant.

This chick was trying to intimidate me, why I don't know, to move out of a seat that upon view no one would have surmised had ever been occupied by her, and per these facts it can only be surmised that this chick was just power playing. The tables were turned on her quickly when the normally low base that is my voice got even lower when I told her to find another seat. She may have very well been in the seat before I entered the room and vacated it when she got up to partake of the wonderful refreshments that were laid out for all the attendants which is probably when I entered the room thus not knowing she had been sitting there. But for her to then think that any new arrivals could discern who was formerly sitting in the many seats available and to then intimidate someone into moving from a seat she once occupied by standing over said person, closely, with a hot cup of coffee, was mind boggling.

I practiced restraint on this occasion, and thought I handled it well. I talked to her like she was one of my children when I tell them to go sit down somewhere when they get on my nerves. She replied like a child when she heard the tone of my voice with a very perky voice, "Oh that's OK. I'll just move to another seat even though my stuff is there." I looked around AGAIN to ascertain what stuff she was talking about and saw AGAIN that there was none, and just thought to myself she was just trying to save face because she was put in the awkward position, and more specifically, she had the awkward position she tried to put on me thrown back on her.

I was offended by someone standing over me while I was sitting, and doing so with hot cup of coffee that could have easily spilled on me, and per that, I felt she was very threatening. I have not felt that feeling in a while from anyone, and it was shocking. It came from a person that I felt was used to getting her way, and I was not letting that happen because she was rude, there were plenty of other seats available, and I don't threaten easily. If looks could kill this chick would have been dead a hundred times over.

The moment was a very NY moment and I have not encountered one of late as I think I project a certain, "Do not mess with me" as soon as I step foot outside my apartment door, as do most NY'ers, and we all get along famously. Everyone knows where the lines are drawn and everyone has that box made up of those lines in which you are in the center, and no one is to intrude. For this chick to step in that box so aggressively is shocking to me, and reinforces my notion that it can come from anywhere a situation that can drive you to smack the living day lights out of someone who steps to you so aggressively. I handled the moment I think as gracefully as anyone could have, and didn't hesitate in understanding the situation. Years ago I think I would have been confused and possibly have moved as she sounded so confident that I made such a harsh mistake and she was pointing it out by embarrassing me in front of 20 people, loudly. I think I have grown in sniffing out the drama queens of the world, who don't take the high road, but take the low and try to drag many of us down there with them.

Only in NY.

Consumer Addict

A guy from work invited me to the release party for a CD he performed in with his choir. It was to be held in Hell's Kitchen of NYC with free eats and drinks. I was happy for him and his success and wished to party with him and his friends. I took the subway to Delancy Street in NYC and emerged at dusk to see the sun shimmering off the East River just beyond The FDR Drive and it many homeward bound cars and their occupants. It was a beautiful sight and a beautiful night. I walked west towards Houston towards a church and entered into its sanctuary to a sensory overload. The music was blasting and there was a continuous stream of film of my friend and his group on many of the walls of the church. The Church had no pews which allowed for the crowd and the hot dog stands and the pop corn machines and the open bars from which people partook the tasty treats. The crowd was load and excited and the vibe was very New York. I looked around at the standing room only crowd and saw a man with a shawl fur and a advant guard skirt with combat boots on who looked very interesting. Most were upwardly mobile looking, if not upper middle class, and that, in my opinion, is not a bad thing.

The theme of the night was consumerism and the specific aspect of everyone's purchasing all items consumed responsibly. It was a night that spoke of everyone being aware of many of the things consumed by us everyday have a heavier price paid than that we put in the cash register. While we sip on lattes purchased from S.t.a.r.b.u.c.k. it was said during this event I attended that this multi-million dollar conglomerate uses underpaid and therefore exploited labor in third-world countries. I paused during the festivities that were presented to all as a choir in a church and done so in a comedy skit fashion I suppose to soften the blow of the essential lecture being put forth that we are all slaves to consumerism. Many of us want the latest fashions, cell phones, food, visit the latest restaurant, etc. and do not think of how the products being consumed were derived and produced and delivered for our consumption. It is a phenomenon that those conglomerates that produce such products certainly don't want the consumers to thinks about as many of us would give pause when and perhaps would not purchase said items.

The Rev.erend Bill.y and The Sto.p Sh.opping Choir is the official name of the choir my friend belongs to and have, upon my investigation into their website, a history televangelical satire to put forth the message of responsible consumerism. The are often at major political and consumer related events such as the recent Repub.lican Natio.nal Convention and The Wor.ld Tra.de Organization gatherings that happened recently in NYC. It is admirable that such a group exists and made me think about who I am as a consumer. It just struck me as sad as most of those present in the audience seemed not to need much prodding to believe the message being put forth, and that those who most needed to hear the message of that evening are the young people with the still forming view points about consumerism who clamor for those items pitched continuously by commercials and The M.T.V. culture we live in today.

The night was fantastic and I appreciated being invited as it makes me aware of my need to be ever vigilant in understanding what I consume litterally affects the world around me.

Casual Racism

Casual racism effects society in countless ways and chips away at the very soul of those who encounter it on a daily basis.

"Oh, you're from Harlem! You don't act like someone from Harlem."

"Oh, you go to (an Ivy League) University?! How did YOU get in?! You're on scholarship, right? Oh, you're in the degree program and not some certificate program!?"

Getting on an elevator a Caucasian woman when she sees you, an African-American woman entering the elevator alone, shifts her pocketbook to the other side of her body, and looks fearful, as the doors of the elevator closes.

A problem comes up on the job and someone is asked to get a specific supervisor who is sitting on the other side of the department. She is training. The person is given the name of said supervisor and when sent to summon the supervisor, sees an African-American woman who is training two Caucasian women employees who are subordinate. He excuses himself to the African-American woman and speaks to the two Caucasian women and asks which of them is the supervisor. They point to the African-American woman who he has just ignored as possibly being the supervisor he was sent to summon.

A well known Georgia State Congress Woman, an African-American Woman, and two of her clerks try to enter The House of Representatives for a meeting of Congress, and the two Caucasian women are allowed to enter without being asked for ID to prove their identity and the reason for their being there, but The Congress Woman is stopped and detained and questioned when she does not provide ID nor is she believed when she states that she is a Congress Woman. A similar incident happens again months later. Members of Congress are traditionally not requested to show ID, but the civilians who work for them are, when trying to enter The Floor of The House of Representatives. Congress Woman Cynthia McKinney lodged a formal complaint as to her treatment at the hands of security.

A woman decides to run away from her home days before her wedding, a wedding that included 14 brides maids. It is unclear why she ran, but it is certainly clear that she lied when she called to state the reason for her disappearance. She stated that she had been kidnapped by a Latino Man and his Caucasian female companion. She then recanted a few days later. Sometimes during such weird cases of disappearances and other extreme matters, a person will lie to cover the fact that they are the reason for the extreme matter occurring by saying someone, usually a person of color, created the problem. This stems from the fact that it is so easy to believe a person of color committed a crime.

The feasibility of stating a lie - that a disappearance occurred because of an act of criminality by a Latino - is that which is the very base of what society thinks of people of color. And all other thoughts about people of color by persons spring from this very base and foundation, thus tinting the thought process of what and who people of color are, as a group, with casual racism. The woman did not care that she risked The Latino men of her community being snatched from their homes, cars, and jobs, to be questioned by police authority as to her whereabouts. The casualness of some racism and its acceptability in it being spoken and used as a weapon to thwart the truth, and its acceptability allowing those who use it to think of people of color as beneath them and inferior, and hoping that others do same so that lies will be believed, is angering.

Casual racism, the small incidences, and not the outlandishly racist occurrences we read about, are sometimes more effecting in spreading ugliness than the not so casual racism, as it is a process that ferments and festers in the brain to be forever remembered as a slight that was unjustified, undeserved, unwarranted, and came about just because of the color of one's skin and the inherent racism that exists in the society to which we all belong.

PTO Days

There are many who are familiar with the expression PTO. Paid Time Off is magic to many working people's ears as it allows them to escape their jobs and take a vacation. Or if one is sick, one can call in to the job and tell of whatever illness they are suffering with knowing they will be paid while they languish and recuperate from what ails them. My job moved my department from the Wall Street area of NYC to Jersey City, NJ and many of my department were none to happy. This has manifested in many not showing up for work for numerous days. We have been at the new location for about eight weeks and about 60% of my department's workers have not completed a full week of work. Many of the absences are unscheduled, and the amount per my group is massive and exemplifies the dissatisfaction with the move from NYC to NJ. Before we left New York it was obvious many of my department had used most of their PTO, as it is a normally weird practice to abuse the system of PTO days, and many had done so before it actually accrued. The company for which we worked has always forwarded the time to the workers as a sign of good faith, and of course doing so knowing it would be easy to recoup whatever money was extended via PTO when the person left the employ of our job from the last check of said employee.

What is shocking is the rate that days are being used via PTO in our new facility. It is as if people do not want to be here, and are therefore risking being looked upon like irresponsible employees. And this is happening from the managerial level all the way down to temporary employees. But what is baffling is that they all need their jobs. No one is independently rich (to my knowledge) and works to appease some work demon they have inside themselves. So it is astounding that the manifestation of not wanting to be someplace acts out in taking unscheduled days that may not be paid for because of over extension of the usage of PTO.

It is certain that the vibe is different when going to work. When working on Wall Street one knew that though the job was not creative nor paid well, when one stepped out of the office one could find a vibrancy from the neighborhood in which the job was located. There may be a concert of major stars just blocks away in Battery Park. We have all seen, with our office views of the Statue of Liberty, concerts directly across the street with such performances from Janet Jackson, James Brown, Black Eyed Peas, Wyclef Jean, Nora Jones, Mos Def, Robert DeNiro, to name a few. And now, what do we get? Jersey. So, people are not happy as the neighborhood in which the job is located, while it is a neighborhood consisting of skyscapers on par with the ones left on Wall Street, does not have even a percentage of the vibrancy that was in the neighborhood of Wall Street. The place becomes deserted come five o'clock and literally tumbleweeds could roll down the avenue without bumping into anything. It is so desolate, but with the monstrosity that is the skyscrapers in the area, it looks like a vacant set of a very big budgeted blockbuster movie in a metropolis.

Having said the above, it is understood why people would be disillusioned about the job and what it once offered in terms of outside entertainment, but one thing is certain, bills still have to be paid. So, yes it is understood that there is an adjustment period, but for 60% of the staff to have had an unscheduled absence at least once a week for all the weeks we have been in New Jersey, and many to do so when their PTO has already been exhausted and therefore will not get paid for the days absent, is beyond incomprehensible.

But then, those are the types of people I work with. They are inexplicable in their actions.

Disparity

My oldest son and I went shopping on 34th Street today. We went directly to Macy's as I had an all day pass acquired from a friend of a friend whose wife works there and who had a 20% coupon on every purchase all day. We had a great time shopping and he was very happy with his purchases. I paid for all the purchases with my debit card and really put a hurting on it. Everyone was personable and pleasant.

On the trek home to The Bronx, my oldest wanted to purchase a few more items from a sports store and we proceeded to chose items and go to the check out counter. When the debit card was presented I was asked for ID. I asked the young lady why I would need ID for a debit card. She gave some lame excuse, and I then proceeded to ask does she ask everyone who presented a debit card for ID, and she stated yes. I asked for what reason and she said for security reasons. I was well aware what her answer would be but was feeling mischievous.

It is so funny the difference between Manhattan and The Bronx and the way in which their respective merchants treat their patrons. One's institutions treats its customers with the respect they are due, and the other, like they are common thieves. And if I had purchased said items with cash in The Bronx, no questions would have been asked, instead all that would have happened is the snatching of the 20 dollar bill out of my hand and the chi-chinging of the register's resounding ring in my ear, and not the question, "ID, please" for the purchase of items worth less than 20 dollars.

I love The Bronx but some of its hang-ups and the manifestation of such really irritate me.