In The Box

Recently I attended an event that required me to wait in a waiting area with several women. Upon entering he area as directed I went to a seat that was unoccupied and proceeded to take off my sweater and exhale knowing I had arrived on time and the event would soon start. I was happy to be there and to have done so without incident. Then came a woman who stood over me, in the proverbial box that I set up around myself to determine if someone is just too close, and proceeded to tell me I was in her seat. I, still doing the tasks of setting myself up to sit for a moment, stopped my movements and looked up at her in a slow manner, all the while looking at the vast amount of unoccupied seats all about us, and said to the woman slowly while looking in her eyes, for her to go find another seat and to do so because my sitting in "her" seat should not be a big deal. I further glanced around me to re-assert that there was no way for me or the best detective in the world to decipher if I was sitting in "her" chair as there were no items of clothing nor bags in its vicinity. I was amazed that she was "up on me" in such close poximity and surmised she must not be a native New Yorker as anyone who is would never have been that close without there not being a good reason such as a crowded subway or restaurant.

This chick was trying to intimidate me, why I don't know, to move out of a seat that upon view no one would have surmised had ever been occupied by her, and per these facts it can only be surmised that this chick was just power playing. The tables were turned on her quickly when the normally low base that is my voice got even lower when I told her to find another seat. She may have very well been in the seat before I entered the room and vacated it when she got up to partake of the wonderful refreshments that were laid out for all the attendants which is probably when I entered the room thus not knowing she had been sitting there. But for her to then think that any new arrivals could discern who was formerly sitting in the many seats available and to then intimidate someone into moving from a seat she once occupied by standing over said person, closely, with a hot cup of coffee, was mind boggling.

I practiced restraint on this occasion, and thought I handled it well. I talked to her like she was one of my children when I tell them to go sit down somewhere when they get on my nerves. She replied like a child when she heard the tone of my voice with a very perky voice, "Oh that's OK. I'll just move to another seat even though my stuff is there." I looked around AGAIN to ascertain what stuff she was talking about and saw AGAIN that there was none, and just thought to myself she was just trying to save face because she was put in the awkward position, and more specifically, she had the awkward position she tried to put on me thrown back on her.

I was offended by someone standing over me while I was sitting, and doing so with hot cup of coffee that could have easily spilled on me, and per that, I felt she was very threatening. I have not felt that feeling in a while from anyone, and it was shocking. It came from a person that I felt was used to getting her way, and I was not letting that happen because she was rude, there were plenty of other seats available, and I don't threaten easily. If looks could kill this chick would have been dead a hundred times over.

The moment was a very NY moment and I have not encountered one of late as I think I project a certain, "Do not mess with me" as soon as I step foot outside my apartment door, as do most NY'ers, and we all get along famously. Everyone knows where the lines are drawn and everyone has that box made up of those lines in which you are in the center, and no one is to intrude. For this chick to step in that box so aggressively is shocking to me, and reinforces my notion that it can come from anywhere a situation that can drive you to smack the living day lights out of someone who steps to you so aggressively. I handled the moment I think as gracefully as anyone could have, and didn't hesitate in understanding the situation. Years ago I think I would have been confused and possibly have moved as she sounded so confident that I made such a harsh mistake and she was pointing it out by embarrassing me in front of 20 people, loudly. I think I have grown in sniffing out the drama queens of the world, who don't take the high road, but take the low and try to drag many of us down there with them.

Only in NY.