Burden

Is it right for anyone to judge another of the choices they have made in their lives? I often have had people comment on my life in the most intrusive and rude ways, and have had to step back and assess the inappropriateness of their comments. Often I let the comments go as I know they come from a projection on to me of the negativity the person is feeling about themselves.

Recently at my job I was in an area of the office that is cut off from others doing a task alone and a colleague stepped into the area and commented that I looked tired. I looked at him and shrugged my shoulders and said that I wasn't, all the while thinking the comment was a little forward. He then started a spiel on his knowledge of my having three children and the burden that he was sure was unwanted by me because of them, and his assuredness that I would become pregnant soon again as "girls" that he knows personally who "are like you, who have kids, keep popping them out." Needless to say he was pulled into an office with myself, and my manager who was there for the sole purpose to witness what I would say to him. I thought it paramount to state the obvious that my children bring me purpose for being, and for someone to state the opposite and for that statement to come from someone who doesn't even know their names is totally inappropriate to be said in any setting, let alone an office. This person is someone that I am not close with nor rarely initiate a conversation about anything, let alone anything personal. He is known as socially inept office wide. One woman in the office has told him not to speak to her per rude comments he made about her body. Others have literally told him to shut up because he talked to much. He then has stopped talking to them altogether to which they cheer with gratitude.

I was told during this meeting that I am quiet. He said, "You're always so quiet." I was stunned by the comment and stated that had nothing to do with the conversation but since he mentioned it I could only think that there was a hidden meaning behind the statement, and that was that he was surprised I was voicing my opposition to the rudeness he displayed, and doing so in such a verbally aggressive manner. He was surprised that I stated I knew he would never say rude things to me outside of the office because he knew verbal fusillade would come his way possibly followed by a chair directed at his head. And in knowing this he uses the safety of an office to spew nasty comments knowing people will be professional and not react inappropriately. Such is the case with myself, and so he was warned that should such comments every happen again he is being given fair warning that he will be in human resources and will be reported officially for harassment. I then asked him did he still think I was quiet.

I am tired of being judged in a negative manner on the one thing that brings consistent light to my life. That anyone would think children are a burden to me dramatically tells that they do not know me and are judging me from stereotypical fallacies.